The internet can be toxic. But there are also online oases where mutual care flourishes

This piece is part of a series on the great internet letdown. Read the rest of the series.


The internet can be a toxic place. Disinformation, hate speech and trolling are not just abundant – they are encouraged by the economy of clicks which governs many online platforms. There are no good clicks, no bad clicks, only clicks. By that metric, mutual hostility is great, because it results in lots of clicks.

But this is only one side of the web.

As I have discovered in my research there are also lesser-known places on the internet where mutual care flourishes.

These online oases are built, carefully tended, and fiercely protected by dedicated people who usually share a niche interest. Members connect and share information with each other that can often be life-changing, helping them overcome personal barriers both great and small.

Informal networks

“Informal networks” are social connections that allow people to share information around a common interest or need.

In the past, a version of this would be village gossip. In times of urgency, this grapevine of social connections ensured people could respond without waiting for the next newspaper – or attend to matters the newspaper would not even cover.

Today, while geographically bounded informal networks are dissolving, they are forming online.

For example, people who have relatively rare chronic conditions can find others on Facebook or in online forums who can provide information on lived experience, tips on how to get quality medical care or ideas for how to continue with a sport.

These networks often exist in a dual world, both online and in person.

Person sitting at a table using Facebook on a laptop.

Many people find each other and create informal networks on Facebook and in online forums. BlurryMe/Shutterstock

Finding the right people

Diabetes is an increasingly common condition, and it makes everyday life more complex and challenging.

In my own research, I discovered a group of keen runners with diabetes who were initially strangers but became connected through chance social encounters. They bonded over a shared challenge: how to find the right diet and manage blood sugar levels so they could keep running.

One runner explained that “finding the right people saved the life I loved, maybe even my life”. This network includes a dietitian and a sports scientist, and provides information and guidance that would never appear in a book.

Local and family history is another topic around which online informal networks form.

Often, specific knowledge is key, as one member of an online local history group explained:

when I was trying to get access to the [local archive] I found it really difficult to get the archivist to be helpful […] I got guidance [via an online group] on how to get on her right side, so I could get what I was after.

Again, this isn’t the sort of knowledge that is going to be published. But it is vital for those pursuing it out of interest.

The opposite of division

These informal networks present a stark contrast to the divisive pattern found in some parts of the web. Too-frequent posting and divisive or offensive attitudes are quickly going to get you expelled.

Those who run the Facebook groups and online forums I research are usually volunteers. The main source of information is other members, so there is an inherent need to be a good citizen. As one person explained:

I want the community to work, but I have no time or patience for people who are being disruptive.

Status comes from being friendly, constructive and informative, and there is an expectation of reciprocal behaviour. Many groups, such as the runners with diabetes, encounter each other in real life and are located in a set geographical area.

Two open boxes in the archive library.

People researching local and family histories often connect through online informal networks. NATALIA61/Shutterstock

Discussions often occur across time, spanning in-person chats over coffee, chance encounters at an event, online one-to-one messaging and forum posts. The network spans different social and technological contexts.

The value of these online informal networks is getting knowledge of real experience, and often the emotional support needed to put that experience into practice.

While commercial online platforms value conflict, as it produces enraged engagement and higher advertising revenue, the currencies of these networks are empathy and insight.

A new model

However, the pressures of the world outside the online oasis still exist. Most groups need occasional policing. For example, moderators of a diabetic discussion forum have continually had to expel people touting “snake oil” solutions.

More often, though, anti-social behaviour results in participants being ignored and left on their own. A rogue post will more likely result in a telling off from other posters than the moderator needing to step in. Everyone is involved in both creating and defending the value of the informal network.

Unlike many parts of the internet, online informal networks don’t care about clicks: they survive on real-world benefit. They dissolve when they no longer deliver the benefits people want or need.

Instead of just thinking about clicks, the companies controlling major online platforms could help improve the internet by learning from what is valued in informal networks.